


First Rule of Sneaking Out: Don’t Get Caught (Short)

by violet_hour



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Desperation, Fluff, Hogwarts Era, M/M, Marauders, Omorashi, Watersports, kind of?, like pg-rated watersports, peter doesn't say much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 03:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3234560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violet_hour/pseuds/violet_hour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The marauders take a little trip into the Forbidden Forest.<br/>Full of mischief, fluff, and a touch of omorashi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Rule of Sneaking Out: Don’t Get Caught (Short)

The clouds above threatened rain as the boys made their way to the Forbidden Forest for some mid-afternoon mischief; snapping twigs and crunching leaves beneath their feet. As they trotted past the Giant Squid, splashing its tentacles lazily in the chilly lake, Sirius thought he heard the distant rumble of thunder approaching. But the overcast hadn’t dampened his spirits one bit. From their previous outings to the Forest, he knew the almost infinite stretch of trees would block out most of their worries. Well, worries about getting rained on anyway. Actually, what he really should be worried about was getting caught by whatever might be hiding in the depths of exactly where they were heading in the first place. But Sirius wasn’t worried about that either. In fact, he encouraged it. And lucky he did, otherwise he might feel hesitant about what they were doing, nervous even. That wild thought alone was more unsettling to him than the fact that he and the boys could run right into the talons of an overly-pompous hippogriff and never even make it back to the castle. Least of all, alive.

Really, the only concern Sirius had at the moment was the same one he had every other time they’d snuck out here. And that was that they weren’t going to come across anything more sinister that afternoon than poison ivy. Not once have they ever run into anything even remotely interesting, much less frightening. They always seemed to get caught (or bored) before they were able to get deeper and really unfold any real secrets of the Forbidden Forest. Honestly, the most exciting thing they’d ever encountered was when Peter swore he caught a glimpse of the silver horn of a fully grown unicorn. None of the other boys had seen it though, and Sirius wasn’t sure how much faith he could really put into one of Peter’s stories. Not after the time he’d tried to convince them all that he’d managed to procure an actual bezoar from a pig’s stomach. Sure, it had been a decent enough story, complete with every gripping detail he knew would capture the boys’ attention. But he was forgetting one tiny thing. Bezoars came from goats, not pigs. At least as far as Sirius knew.

As they stumbled along; stooping now and then to avoid getting struck by one of the branches on the Whomping Willow, Sirius was really just willing to have an excuse to ditch class again more than actually expecting to catch sight of anything worthwhile. Not that sneaking into the Forest was exactly the type of excuse any of his professors would accept, much less allow. He should probably be spending this walk down trying to come up with something a bit more suitable. But that felt like work, and the whole point of skipping class was to avoid work. So in the end, Sirius decided he’d just have to charm whosever’s pants off that doubted his blameless integrity. Actually, he wouldn’t even have to charm their pants off, he was pretty sure there was a spell for that already.

He giggled at the thought of Filch bullying them all again with visions of thumb-hangings as usual, picturing the old git’s trousers dropping down to his ankles unexpectedly, mid-threat. It would definitely make having to spend another detention with him worth it. In the event that they were actually caught, that is.

Turning to share his little fantasy with Remus, who was trudging along beside him, Sirius spotted the crease already lining his forehead and decided to just hold it in. For now. Remus was obviously still hesitant about this whole illicit little adventure anyway. Come to think of it, he seemed even more apprehensive than usual. Sirius noted that his face seemed tight with worry, and he didn’t appear to be concentrating on his stride much either as he very nearly collided right into a large stone blocking their path. Just narrowly avoiding it, Remus grimaced in what Sirius assumed was momentary alarm of almost being impaled by the stationary rock. But the further away from the castle they went, the more Sirius couldn’t help noticing Remus grimace every few steps, glancing back at the school at random intervals, almost longingly.

A few paces ahead, James was talking nonstop. He, like always, was resolutely optimistic that _this time for sure_ they were going to catch sight of something. They just had to! Luckily, his excitement was pretty infectious and Sirius was back to daydreaming their infinite number of possibilities. It lasted a few seconds before his attention; which was erratic at best, was stolen once again by the disgruntled sigh he heard from Remus as he glanced back at the castle. It was true Moony’s behavior was questionable on a normal day, but even when they had managed to convince him to sneak into Hogsmeade to satisfy their late night chocolate fix the other night, he hadn’t seemed _this_ agitated. Sirius found himself rather intrigued, and a tad bit curious.

Attempting to figure out what might be going through Moony’s head was much more interesting anyway than say, the twelve inches of parchment due later that day on the endless reasons why Goblin trials didn’t start gaining credit until the Middle Ages. Who even cared about such ancient rubbish? Other than Binns. And look at him. He probably croaked from the sheer boredom of even assigning something so ridiculous in the first place. Besides, Sirius could always copy Peter’s anyway.

By this point, the boys had made it quite far from the castle, making the school seem much less grandeur from this distance. In fact, when Sirius held up his finger and thumb to scale it, they were barely even an inch apart. He didn’t seem to be the only one to notice either as Remus slowed down his pace and craned his neck yet again to look at it. If Sirius had a sickle for every time that made it now, he might be able to buy Remus a telescope so he wouldn’t even have to squint.  
Unable to stand it any longer, but sort of impressed that he’d lasted this long, Sirius reached over and pinched Remus’ elbow, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin.

“Everything ok, Moony?” he asked. Nodding his head back at the school, he added sincerely, “Did you forget something?”

Immediately, the color rose to Remus’ cheeks, and he shook his head hastily. “N-no. Why?”

With a shrug, although he was far from convinced, Sirius slipped his arm over Moony’s shoulders and pulled him close; noticing but not quite interpreting the tension between them. “You keep looking back at the castle,” he said. “Thought you might’a left your chocolate frogs or something.”

But Remus only smiled, shaking his head softly. “I’ve never left the school without at least _one_ chocolate frog on me. You know that.”

“Ok, hold it!” Sirius nearly shouted, causing both James and Peter, and not to mention Remus, to glare back at him with startled expressions on their faces. “Did you all hear that!? Moony just _admitted_ that I, Sirius Black, know something.” Nudging the boy lightly, he said, “You can’t deny it now, Remus. I’ve got witnesses.”

Remus just let that bashful smirk Sirius loved so, so much, take his face. “I’ve never denied your intelligence, Sirius,” he explained as he shifted feet once or twice.  

Pointed an accusing finger at him, Sirius quipped, “But you have questioned it.”

“Can you blame him?” James rationalized, sticking his tongue out playfully.

Sirius took in an overly-deep inhale of breath, preparing to come to his own striking defense, before he quickly gave up and blew it out again. “Not really.” Turning back to Remus, he grinned before digging his hand into one of his pockets, where he knew his chocolate stash would be. “You brought some for me too, right?”

Giggling softly, Remus attempted to push Sirius away. “They’re for later,” he reminded. “Like in case we run into a group of Dementors. You know,” his voice rose faintly so that both James and Peter were in on the conversation. “Those foul things that like to hang out in places, like, I don’t know. The Forbidden Forest, for instance.” Sirius noticed him tug at his shirt collar uncomfortably, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of the prospect of Dementors, or something else.

“It’s just a myth, Moony,” James told him, dismissing the idea with a lazy wave of his wand, and causing a few stray leaves to rustle in the breeze. “Dementors are in Azkaban. That’s it. They’re not just roaming around twenty feet from a school! Dumbledore would never allow it.”

“We are way more than twenty feet,” Remus reminded him, looking back at the castle. Sirius swore he could hear a touch of despair in his words.  

Letting James take the lead, Peter; wheezing steadily from their ascent up the hill, hung back to pat his shoulder. “I’m sure there’s no Dementors, Remus. But it was a good idea to bring chocolate along just in case.”

Sirius snorted at that. Leave it to Peter to make sure no one felt their efforts weren’t equally commendable.  

Feeling mischievous, Sirius pointed up at the sky and frowned thoughtfully. “Although, those clouds do look a little more ominous than they did when we left the school, don’t you think?” He didn’t know much about Dementors at all really, having been fortunate enough in life to never have had the displeasure of crossing one’s path. But the thing he did know was that their presence tended to cast an eerie shadow of hopeless doom all around. That, and they were hideous hooded gits, who felt entitled to swoop around and meddle with the emotions of their unsuspecting victims’. All without bothering to solicit any sort of consent beforehand.

Shifting his gaze back down, Sirius noticed Remus looked slightly stricken by his comment; the way his head swirled back from the castle, to instead squint up at the sky in fright, his hands wringing together nervously down in front of himself.

“Why would you say that, Padfoot?” James groaned, falling back now to rub Remus’ shoulder reassuringly. “You know if you freak him out too much he’s gonna make us go back before we even get to the Forest!”

With a casual roll of his eyes, Sirius brushed James’s hand off Remus greedily so he could wrap him up for himself, and attempted to pacify him. “Aw come on, Moony. You know you’re fifty times more terrifying than any Dementor when you want to be.”

“Yes well, fortunately that only happens one night a month, and it’s not something I’m proud of,” Remus reminded him, still looking uneasy, but letting Sirius continue to soothe him with a hand down his spine. “And just in case you forgot, I don’t actually _want_ to be terrifying, thank you.”

“No, I wasn’t talking about when you’re a werewolf,” Sirius winked, which caused Remus to blush from his head to his toes.

“I’m sorry, but are we going to the Forest, or not?” James interrupted impatiently. “Because I really feel like I’ve heard enough dreadfully disguised innuendo from the pair of you, to last a lifetime.” He directed their attention to the approaching hedge which was the closest entrance to the Forest, sitting only a few yards away.  “And we’ve already made it this far.”

Still smirking at the tint on Remus’ cheeks, Sirius nodded earnestly. “Our young Mr. Potter is right. We didn’t come all this way for Moony to pressure me with more of his unrestrained advances, now did we? Remus, you heard them. And besides, you know how hard it is for me to resist. I mean, I’m only human.” He winked, “Most of the time.”

He received a shove to his shoulder from a still blushing, and very clearly smiling, Remus. “Stop!” He crossed his legs at the ankles, making himself look charmingly flustered.

“You need to be careful with this one,” Sirius continued, nodding his head at him and pretending to whisper at the other two. “He really takes ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothing’ to a whole new level.”

As he reveled at the appalled looks on the others’ faces, Sirius felt that in the event they did find themselves surrounded by a pack of Dementors, he might actually be able to conjure up a Patronus with this memory.

James decided not to stick around and hear whatever else might come out of Sirius’ sometimes uncontrollable mouth, and he took the lead again, dragging Peter along by his shirt cuff, as if saving him from the other two as well.

“You’re so inappropriate sometimes,” Remus whispered to Sirius, mischievously. But there was no bite to his words. If anything, Sirius thought he might’ve actually detected a hint of amusement, maybe even approval? hidden somewhere in there.

Accepting the ambiguous claim with a nod of his head, Sirius took Remus’ hand and started leading him off after the others. It was as they neared closer to the hedge that he felt Remus gripping his hand a bit tighter than necessary, also noticing the hesitant furrow of his eyebrows. Sirius couldn’t understand it. How could someone who transformed into a bloody werewolf every month be frightened of a silly little Forest? Granted there was that whole ‘forbidden’ thing going on, along with the fact that it really wasn’t all that little or silly, and not to mention it was more than likely home to many sinister creatures; including perhaps, other werewolves, all with varying degrees of hazardousness.

But still.

Squeezing back soothingly, Sirius whispered, “Sure you’re alright? We’ve got the Cloak, remember. No one will see us.”

But surprisingly, the risk of getting caught (or captured) didn’t appear to be what Remus was worried about, because he snapped his head out of an apparent stupor and blinked. “What?” his eyes looked slightly unfocused. “Oh, right. No, I’m sure we’ll be fine…”

Noting that the flush had never really left his cheeks, Sirius also took in the way Remus was fiddling about with his wand, restlessly. He almost seemed to be battling with himself, and Sirius found the whole thing even more intriguing. Comprehension was beginning to dawn on him with every new step they took, and he finished the rest of the walk sneaking glances at Remus, and his increasingly anxious behavior.

At last, they were crowded around the entrance to the Forest, and James held up a lofty hand. Sirius’ eyes were still darting to Remus; who was watching James with a tight look of concentration plastered on his face.

“Right,” James cleared his throat, and Sirius abandoned his staring long enough to let out a low sigh. “So, we all realize that what we’re about to embark on is strictly forbidden to all students. If caught, consequences will most likely include every civilized - and possibly uncivilized - punishment the school can come up with. They might even bring back some of those old medieval methods Filch is always going on about.”

Sirius and Peter turned matching grins to each other. Remus however, didn’t even seem to be listening. Sirius could see him shifting rather awkwardly on his feet beside him, still twiddling his wand.

“We also realize that we’re all in this together,” James went on. “That means if one of us gets caught, we all get caught. No splitting up for any reason, and no magic if you can avoid it.”

“Why no magic?” Peter raised his hand uncertainly, and Sirius yawned boredly. They had this same exact speech before each and every venture into the Forest. Honestly, didn’t Peter listen?

“It could give away our position,” James reminded him patiently. He looked to the group receptively, not paying any mind to Remus’ quiet, discontent.  “Any questions before we begin?”

Raising his hand, Sirius called, “I have a question!”

Frowning, James looked to the other two hopefully. “Anyone with a serious question?”

“Hey! I _have_ a serious question. I have _the_ Sirius question!” Sirius defended proudly.

“Fine, fine,” James sighed, his face breaking into a helpless smile. “What is it, Padfoot?”

“Do we have to go through this ridiculous ceremony every time we’re about to do something misguided, or can we just get on with it already?”

James appeared to contemplate for a moment, even bringing a finger to his chin, before he finally concluded, “Every time. So, any other questions? Speak now or forever hold your peace!”  

At that, Sirius noticed Remus visibly tense, and the way his legs sort of inched closer together and he tugged at his collar again. Sirius eyed him thoughtfully. He was pretty sure he had a good idea what was going on with him at this point. It made him smirk in quiet amusement.

And as if just to confirm his suspicions, Remus bent up and down ever so slightly at the knees, his wand clutched tight down in front of himself. He did it again. It wasn’t a very obvious action; you would really have to be looking to catch it.  Unfortunately for Remus, Sirius _had_ been looking, and he _did_ catch it. And of course it’s not like he could just let it slip by unnoticed. It just wasn’t his nature.

Leaning over, Sirius took on an attentive sort of tone, “Got a question before we begin, darling?”

Remus was biting his lip upon closer inspection, but he quickly contorted his face into a weak smile; obviously just to appease him. He hesitated before quickly whispering, “How far back do you think the castle is from here?” He’d managed to abandon the fidgeting for now, but he didn’t look any less flustered.

Turning to glimpse the vast fortress that seemed more akin to a dollhouse from this distance, Sirius concluded that it was, “Uh, at least a twenty minute walk, love. Fifteen, if you walk really fast.”

Remus gulped, his jaw visibly clenching. Sirius noticed him shifting again, but he didn’t feel quite ready to call him out on it yet; which was a bit unusual considering Sirius had no problem calling anyone out on anything, ever. Instead he just squinted his eyes in light accusation. “You’re not thinking of abandoning us _now_ , are you? Remember what James said. We’re all in this together. If you go back, we all have to.”

Managing to keep the pretense of a smile on his face, Remus laughed nervously, his eyebrows knitting together. “No. Of course not. Don’t be silly. I was just wondering…” He took a tentative step to one side and then the other. “Um. You know,” he added, as if he sensed Sirius could see right through the lie, “in case we have to make a quick run for it, or something.” He pointed to the Forest to indicate whatever might be creeping just beyond those trees, ready to attack.

“Good thinking, Moony,” Sirius squeezed his hand in approval. He could feel Remus sway on the spot.

“So anyway, Peter,” James continued, bringing Sirius back to the situation at hand. “If you would do the honors.”

As Peter had once again been unanimously nominated to be the first to enter the Forest – unanimously as in, even he voted for himself when he saw that everyone else had – he began to lead the way through the enchanted trees, the others following along with adrenaline pumping their veins. Although they had agreed to avoid magic if possible, they were all still clutching their wands out in front of them, lest they should need to get out of a sticky situation or two. Remus especially, was holding his wand so tightly that Sirius worried he might crack it in half.

While his suspicions were still only suspicions, Sirius couldn’t help finding the whole thing fairly amusing. You’d think with as many books as Remus reads, and being prefect and all, he might think to use the loo before heading out here for an unscheduled and indefinite amount of time.

Sirius didn’t know exactly what he was planning on doing about it either.

The others could all transform into their animagus and nip behind a tree if they had to, but Remus wasn’t going to be able to do that. And they knew from accounts - by mostly Peeves, so who really knew how accurate they were - of how students have tried sneaking wee’s around the school; such as the Quidditch pitch, and most likely, the Forbidden Forest. Peeves went on to enlighten them all with the details of how it always rebounded back onto the person so that they were covered in their own dripping waste. It was bloody disgusting. Apparently it was a charm set in place to discourage people from doing such things. Go figure.

Even still, Sirius knew Remus well enough to know that even if such charms never existed, he still wouldn’t do something like that. He’d rather pee in his own pants than have the shame of being caught doing something so _canine_ , as he liked to remind Sirius whenever Sirius decided to transform into his dog form simply for the purpose to go and lift his leg on some tree. Remus was usually bouncing around in the background, begging him to hurry up so they could go back inside and he could use the toilet like a normal human being. There were no repelling charms set for dogs. Or any animals. Seeing as how animals don’t really have the same kind of boundaries humans have.

Sirius could of course, remind Remus of all this and give him the chance to run back to the castle before they got any farther. But he decided to keep quiet. He was almost certain Remus was squirming around like that because he needed the loo. But since they _were_ currently heading into the Dark Forest, plus they were skipping their lessons on top of it, all that jumpiness could be completely unrelated in the end. Sirius decided to just keep quiet about it. At least for now. He was sure the time would come when he wouldn’t be able to resist poking fun at Remus’ increased pee-dancing; assuming that’s what it was, and have his fun. And believe him, when that time came, he planned on taking full advantage of it. It was his nature, after all.

But right now, with Remus all pink in the face and bouncing up and then back down as he followed behind James and Peter into the Forest, Sirius was finding the whole thing strangely endearing. Then again, everything about Moony was endearing; strangely, not so, and everything in between.

The grey skies, paired with the blanket of trees now above their heads, made it slightly dimmer than usual inside the Forest. Sirius was squinting as he willed his eyes to adjust. They passed the little oak standing just on the barrier; separating them between the Forest and Hogwarts grounds, and Sirius felt that tiny tingle of satisfied disobedience pump through him.

When they had all huddled together at the base of the Forest wall, Remus asked timorously, “How long are we planning on being in here exactly?” Sirius saw his legs press subtly together.

“Why, got somewhere more important to be?” James teased.

Joining in, Peter wheezed, “Yeah, like class or something?”

“Well, technically…” Remus reminded them, turning his knees in slightly.

“Oh Moony, come off it already,” Sirius rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Who’s gonna notice if you miss one measly class?”

“I don’t know,” Remus responded mildly, twitching his hips so subtly that if Sirius hadn’t been watching for it, it would probably have gone by unseen in the dark woods. “But I’m pretty sure McGonagall might eventually realize that four out of seven Gryffindors are missing from her Transfiguration class. What do you think?”

“We don’t need Transfiguration!” James cried out, before Remus shh’ed him anxiously. “We’re animagus!”

Sirius angled his head a bit, “Well, technically Moony isn’t.” And when Remus looked over; with what now seemed to be a permanent tenseness to his features, Sirius grinned, “But he’s as good as.”

“Thanks…” Remus mumbled, though he didn’t sound too encouraged, and Sirius glanced over just in time to catch him shift awkwardly again. He brushed a fidgety hand through his hair.

As James dug around in his bag, Sirius managed to let his eyes wander briefly from Remus to take in the mystical expanse around them. There was a clear sense of imminent peril despite being all he could see for miles were thick, nearly-leafless trees. It was great.

“Shall we get under the Cloak for now,” James suggested. “At least until we make it to the cave.”

Before he could even unravel it completely, Remus shuffled his feet uneasily. “I didn’t know we were going all the way to the cave,” he half-whimpered, crossing his legs at the ankles again. “Is-isn’t this good enough?”

“We have to,” Peter chewed his lip bashfully. “I left my Potions book there last time. I really need to get that back.”

“Haven’t you tried summoning it?” James asked curiously.

Nodding quickly, Peter said, “Yeah. But I don’t think I’m doing the spell right…”

“Accio?” Sirius nearly laughed. “That’s like the simplest one there is.”

“Wait,” Peter chewed his lip. “Accio?” He fumbled with his wand for a moment. “Is that the spell..?”

“Yeah, Peter,” Remus winced, starting to step from one side to the other. “What have you been saying?”

Peter’s ears turned nearly as bright pink as Remus’ cheeks. “Um. Nothing.  Never mind. It’s not important. Heh.”

Sirius and James just gave each other amused looks. With that new mystery under way, Sirius turned to give the Forest another look around and was sure he caught sight of Remus muttering something to himself, adjusting his uniform a tad fussily. Sirius could be wrong, but if the ‘ _…really shouldn’t have had all that tea with lunch…’_ was anything to go by, he was pretty sure his mumbling had something to do with him not using the ‘little prefect’s room’ before coming out here.

Forcing himself not to laugh - too hard - at his boyfriend’s expense, Sirius continued to feign ignorance as he took a step towards him and looped an arm around his waist. He felt Remus tremble at the unexpected touch, but he smiled timorously, still fiddling with his tie.

“Ever heard the old saying that ‘even in the wizarding world, muttering to yourself isn’t a good sign?’”

Remus narrowed his eyes in polite confusion. “No.”

“Well, that’s cause I made it up,” Sirius admitted. Raising a curious eyebrow, he asked, “Are you practicing nonverbal spells, or something? Still grumpy about missing Transfiguration and now you want to curse us for being the ones that made you miss it?”

“No,” Remus’ uncertainty was replaced by a cute smile. “If I wanted to curse you, I’d have no problem doing it verbally.”

“Oh good,” Sirius smiled, pretending to wipe a tear of reminiscence from his eye. “I was starting to feel a little homesick.”

Remus had just enough time to pinch his side, before James was fluffing out his Cloak. “Wormtail, ride on Sirius this time.”

Sirius didn’t even have a moment to process that Peter had vanished from sight, before a set of tiny claws were suddenly clinging to his clothes and crawling their way up his leg.

“Peter!” he giggled, kicking his leg involuntarily as the little rat scampered up his arm to come to rest on his shoulder. “A little warning next time?” he huffed half-heartedly.

James blinked. “I just said he was going on your shoulder,” he said flatly.

“Ok, more than that.”

“Well if you two weren’t busy planning your honeymoon during our times of discussion,” James teased, “you might have heard the plan the first go around.”

Ignoring him, Sirius just continued giggling as Peter’s fur tickled his neck. “Alright, but why _my_ shoulder?”

“Cause mine’s still scratched up from last time,” James mumbled quickly, avoiding Sirius’ eye as he fumbled with the Cloak. _Yeah, sure_ , Sirius thought blandly. Little claws were nipping at his skin and shirt, but he was still pretty sure James was exaggerating his ‘sustained injuries’.

Turning to Remus, who was wiggling lightly on the spot, Sirius pouted, “Why can’t he ride on Moony’s shoulder?” Remus stopped moving when the attention went to him, but he was still pink, and he had his legs pressed a lot closer together than necessary.

“Moony doesn’t like rats!” James said in exasperation, giving Sirius a face that clearly read, ‘ _you think you can just deal with it so we can get a move on already_!’

Sirius blinked, turning back to Remus in bewilderment as he explained, “It’s _Peter!_ ”

“I know,” Remus mumbled, looking extremely uncomfortable, and Sirius was pretty sure it had less to do with their currently-furry friend, and more to do with his filling bladder. “It’s just. The whiskers. And the tail.” Giving Wormtail a guilty smile, he attempted to apologize, “No offense, Peter.”

“I’m sure Wormtail would be more than delighted to hear about whatever issue you have with his animagus,” James promised, and Sirius interjected –“And probably even agree with you –“  That earned a helpless smirk from James, before he finished, “But why don’t you tell him as he walk? We’re not gonna find anything just standing around here.” Throwing the Cloak over the four of them, Sirius felt himself being crammed in between James, and a shifting Remus, Wormtail’s hairless tail wrapping behind his neck.

It was so much tighter under the Cloak these days than it was when they’d initially starting using it. They’d been so tiny in first year, that they’d all been able to huddle underneath it, completely undetectable. It started getting a little tougher keeping everyone’s feet covered in second year. And by third year; with all except Peter shooting up several inches over the summer holiday, it was nearly impossible. Until Peter was able to transform into his tiny rat form so that he could fit easily on one of the other’s shoulder, they’d only been able to go two, three at most, at a time.

Making sure their feet were covered, they set off into the Forest. They walked for several yards, keeping mostly quiet so as to not rouse any unwanted attention from whoever may be creeping just behind the closest tree. And the farther they walked, there was no denying the way Remus was squirming around; tugging his collar, clenching and unclenching his wand, wincing quietly when one of the others bumped or nudged into him.

His nervousness was nearly starting to rub off on even Sirius. He felt more inclined than he normally would to keep checking over his shoulder, or cock his ear at the slightest sound.

When they were so deep into the Forest that without the light from the tips of their wands they wouldn’t be able to see, James quietly illuminated his and held it out in front of them.

“I don’t understand how this place can be ‘forbidden’,” he nearly groaned his dissatisfaction, “when we’ve never once seen anything even remotely dodgy in here.”

“Maybe that’s the point,” Remus whispered back, and Sirius felt him accidently jab him as he tugged at the Cloak agitatedly.

“What’do you mean?”

Wincing over a stick on the ground that he’d just stumbled over, Remus gritted his teeth. “They make it out that there’s nothing in here worth seeing, so that it’ll discourage students from taking the risk of actually coming in here?”

Sirius shot a matching incredulous look at James, just as they both shook their heads and laughed. “ _Nahhh._ ”

“There’s definitely  _something_  in here,” Sirius assured them, recalling the delightedly petrified look on his brother’s face just last year. “I couldn’t even get Regulus to speak for about a week straight after he’d been forced in the Forest for detention. Not even when I poured flobberworm mucus into the bath one night. Complete silence,” he reminisced again.” Best week of my life.”

“Well, that might have had more to do with being forced to spend an entire evening with Filch, than having encountered anything truly life threatening,” Remus rationalized. “Hogwarts isn’t actually going to put students’ lives in danger.”

Setting a delicate hand to his wounded heart, Sirius choked, “Remus, why are you so keen to oppose the theory that that little git was quivering like a dung beetle in his slimy Slytherin boots; and possibly even scarred for life, at what he saw? Can’t you spare just a smidge of sympathy?” He winked cheekily at the strained sort of smile cracking over Remus’ features.  

“I thought I was?”

“Not for my estranged brother, you dunderhead,” Sirius griped. “For me. A little optimism can go a long way, you know.”

“Well I’m optimistic that we’re not going to run into whatever creature it is you think is in here, ready to give you some great reception for the courage of making it this far into the  _Forbidden_  Forest,” Remus informed him in a rush, bending awkwardly at the knees as he gripped at his thighs in a way he clearly thought wasn’t as painfully obvious as it was.

“You are?”James gasped. He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Remus, you can’t honestly tell me you don’t feel at least a teensy tiny bit of exhilaration at the prospect of finally, finally catching sight of,” he faltered slightly, “ _something!_ ”

Sirius was about to make a crack that he was pretty sure Remus was feeling a ‘teensy, tiny’ bit of  _something_ , judging by how he was starting to wince and hover his hand over his lower belly with each unsettling step they took. His other hand had been squeezing onto Sirius’ unnaturally tight since they’d clasped them together at the start of the walk. Sirius was beginning to lose feeling in his fingers, but he found it too amusing to bother fretting over. Before he could take a stab at him though, Remus was talking again.

“Well, it’s not that I don’t feel exhilarated, James,” he finally divulged, a bit sheepishly. “But we’ve been this far into the Forest countless times now, and nothing’s ever happened.”

“Sooooo,” Sirius reasoned cheerfully. “That must mean that today is the day it will. It’s one of the Five Principal laws of Gamp’s Elemental Magical…something or other, after all!”

“Good point, Padfoot,” James approved.

“Do you even have any clue what you’re talking about?” Remus smiled fondly, still gripping tightly to Sirius’ hand.

“Naturally.”

James smirked. “So, no, then?”

Shoving him playfully, Sirius ended up stumbling a bit, which caused him to knock right into Remus. Still grinning, Sirius definitely caught the cringe of discomfort that fixed itself onto Remus’ face at the unexpected impact. Sirius would have apologized, but he forgot he wasn’t actually supposed to know Remus’ ‘big secret’ yet. Imagine that self control. Sirius congratulated himself proudly. Not even calling Remus out when he had this prime opportunity to make him even more adorably uncomfortable. Sirius was pretty sure he deserved a chocolate frog for that one. Stealthily, he reached his free hand into Remus’ robe pocket.

“Oof, what - !” Remus choked, much less invitingly than he previously had. Sirius felt his thighs shake and press together. “N-not right now,” Remus nearly squeaked, his knees practically colliding together.

Tsking the fact that Remus’ dirty mind was determined to assume Sirius’ only intention was to cop a feel; like Sirius was ever discreet about that, Sirius dug out a frog and held it up for him to see. “Remus, you little satyr. I was merely rummaging your pockets for a bit of chocolate.” He started unwrapping the candy. “What else would I be doing down there?”

“You don’t have to answer that, Moony,” James butted in.

“Why not ‘right now’ anyway?” Sirius asked harmlessly, grinning at his own wicked tenacity. He couldn’t help it. The more restless Remus was becoming, the more Sirius was struggling to keep from just blurting out how obvious it was that he was dying for the loo. “Are you waiting for a better offer to come along?”

“I have an offer,” James interjected promptly. “How about I hex you if you make one more inappropriate statement.”

“Well, that just about terminates any chance for conversation,” Sirius frowned. “Thanks, Prongs.”

“Works for me,” Remus hissed, still getting himself back under control as he scratched his head impatiently. “Are we nearly there?” He started jiggling on the spot.

Sirius looked around. He wasn’t even sure where they were right now. He’d been so distracted between having Peter running around over his shoulders; trying to breathe in the cramped, slightly overheated space under the Cloak; and not to mention, sneaking glances at Remus each time he fidgeted unnecessarily or moaned quietly to himself, to keep track of where they were going.

“Yeah, I think so,” James nodded, holding his lit wand tip as far as he could while still keeping it hidden beneath the Cloak.

“Why,” Sirius inquired, smiling happily as Remus grabbed at his robes in little handfuls. “A minute ago you didn’t even want to come.”

“That was definitely more than a minute ago,” Remus reminded him fretfully. When he caught Sirius still looking at him, waiting for an answer - more like waiting to see when Remus was finally going to come out with it already - he forced another nervous smile. “Um. Just tired. M-my feet hurt.”

“We can take a break,” Sirius suggested readily, as if he didn’t see right through the lie. He was very curious to know how many tactics at stalling he was going to have to pull before Remus finally couldn’t take it anymore. Raising a suggestive eyebrow, Sirius smirked. “I could even rub your feet -”

“No!” James blurted out, his outburst startling Remus so much that he side-stepped clumsily into Sirius. “We are not taking a break so that you two can fondle one another.”

“James, my dear friend,” Sirius told him placidly, setting a hand to his shoulder in remorse for his friend’s obvious naïveté. “You have been clearly misled if you think we would need a break, or even a valid reason, to fondle one another.”

“Right. Actually, let’s take a break,” James made a face like he was going to be sick. “I need to go throw up.”

Sirius barked out a laugh before pulling James into a bone crushing hug, and kissing his cheek sloppily.

“Ew, ew, doggie breath!” James squealed, wiping at his face flippantly. Adjusting his glasses that had gone askew, he grinned lopsidedly as he shoved Sirius’s shoulder in some form of what must have been retaliation.

“Can we take the Cloak off for a while?” Sirius asked, looking around them. “There’s no one here. It’s too hot and stuffy under this thing.”

“Yeah, let’s. But I’m keeping my wand lit,” James decided.

“Wait, we’re stopping?” Remus’ voice sounded stricken in the quiet woods as James slipped the Cloak from their heads and started stuffing it in his pocket.

Sirius gave him a glance, taking in a deep breath of fresh air. “You just said you wanted a break.”

Struggling to resist bouncing, and not doing a very good job, Remus started pacing around in little circles. “No, I didn’t!”

“You said you were tired, and your feet hurt.”

“Oh, right,” Remus remembered, crossing and uncrossing his legs now that they’d stopped walking and he had the opportunity. “But. I’m better now. I think we should keep going.”

James had already lost interest in the matter and he circled his wand around their surrounding area cautiously. “Who’s up for some good old fashioned hide and seek?” he winked mischievously.

“That Muggle game?” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Don’t be foolish. Why don’t we try summoning a kelpie, or a chimera, or something?”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea, Sirius,” Remus whimpered, practically dancing on his feet beside him.

“It’s a great idea. Besides, Peter needs to learn how to summon properly anyway if he’s been doing it wrong this whole time. And speaking of,” Sirius glanced at his shoulder as he suddenly griped, “can you  _stand still_?”

Immediately Remus stopped moving, his cheeks flaring again. “Sorry,” he squeaked.

“No, not you,” Sirius relented. He angled his head at Peter, “He won’t stop scampering all over me.”

“He’s keeping lookout,” James informed him.

“Lookout for what?” Sirius was losing interest in their ‘grand adventure’ the longer they were out here with nothing but their own ideas of what they might find to satisfy them, instead of actually finding it. Peter must be doing all this scurrying around so he could keep watch for them, especially now that they’d taken off the Cloak. Turning to hiss at him, Sirius said, “You should have been something without claws. Like, a Blast-Ended Skrewt.” Sirius chose to ignore the fact that those not only had claws too, but stingers as well.

“Those are huge,” James reminded him. “We should be thankful he’s as small as he is. We’d never all fit under there otherwise,” he pointed to his pocket to indicate the Cloak. As he patted Peter’s head in evident gratitude, he suddenly asked, almost offhandedly, “Do you need the toilet, or something, Remus?”

With eyes going twice their normal size, Remus must have realized his pace-bounce-pace-bounce combination wasn’t as restrained as he must have imagined it was. Immediately he stopped moving again, and shook his head quickly, like there was nothing worse he could be accused of than needing the toilet. But before he could defend himself further, James’ erratic attention had already moved onto something else. “Ok listen. I say if we don’t run into anything by the time we hit that hedge,” he pointed off a few yards from where they stood. “We take off the Cloak for good. And Wormtail can probably become Peter again.”

“Right, sounds good,” Remus nodded anxiously, and Sirius couldn’t help but snicker quietly. He was pretty sure Remus’ eagerness to accept this plan; which he would never permit otherwise, was only a cover-up for James calling him out, and he was attempting to throw the attention back off him as quickly as he could.

But Remus was forgetting one very important thing. Sirius.

“Sounds good?” he taunted, pretending to be taken aback. “My god Remus, we really have rubbed off on you, haven’t we? And to think. You’re a  _prefect_. Just about to let three, innocent, young, Gryffindors, wander the Forest right under your watch, while you turn a blind eye. Who knows what could happen to us –“

He stopped short when he received a sharp jab in the ribs from James.

“Ow!”

“Padfoot!” James cried. “Hush! Don’t you know how susceptible Moony is to peer pressure? If you keep talking like that, he’s gonna make us call this whole thing off!”

“I’m not gonna call it off, James,” Remus sighed, shuffling his feet and fidgeting restlessly. “And I’m right here, by the way. I just – “

“ - How do you know what ‘susceptible’ means?” Sirius interrupted, raising a perplexed eyebrow. “Don’t tell me Moony’s been rubbing off on  _you_  now, too.”

James puffed out his chest rather importantly. “I’m smarter than I look, you know.”

Giving him a once over, Sirius couldn’t control a snort of laughter. “Well, let’s hope so.”

“Hey.”

“Guys, please,” Remus interrupted, and when Sirius looked over, he was now swinging softly from side to side. “Let’s just get to the cave, alright?”

“What’s the hurry?” James shrugged, obviously with the same frame of mind as Sirius that the only thing they were missing right now were classes and who even cared?

“Yeahhh,” Sirius insisted, pressing his nose into Remus’s neck and making his squirm. “What  _is_  the hurry?”

Remus giggled softly, his face still looking tight with concentration. “Sirius.”

“What?”

“Stop.”

“Make me.”

“No, really,” Remus pleaded. “I don’t. I can’t..”

Sirius didn’t get in more than a “Can’t what?”, before James suddenly gasped, “You guys, shush!” In an instance, he flung the Cloak back over them all, and there was a feverish new glint in his eyes.

Sirius already felt his heart pumping with excitement. The idea that James could, of course, be pulling their leg right now filtered briefly through his mind, but something about his uneven breath told him otherwise. “What?”

“I saw something!”

“Oh no,” Remus groaned, clinging onto Sirius. He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, stepping around clumsily.

Smiling sweetly at him because Remus was just so damn cute, Sirius wrapped him tighter up in his protection and whispered, “Where?”

James pointed to a clump of trees in the distance, “Over there!”

“What was it?”

Shaking his head uncertainly, James said, “I don’t know. It was big though.”

“Big?” Remus scrunched his face nervously. “Like how big?”

“Like a troll?” Sirius asked, a little breathless in his growing excitement.

“Not that big. But like -” James thought for a second. “There’s centaurs out here, isn’t there?”

“You saw a centaur!?” Remus gasped, bouncing again, his fingers digging into Sirius’ arm.

“Those aren’t something you want to mess with, I don’t think.” Sirius recalled - from some lecture he’d actually bothered to pay attention to - hearing something about the aggression centaurs had towards most other living creatures; including wizards. Or was it, especially, wizards?

“I didn’t say I was gonna mess with them.” James flicked his wand, before winking, “Not much, anyway.”

“James!” Remus shook his head, and Sirius could practically feel the panic radiating off him as he continued to bounce up and down, or shift feet, or squeeze onto Sirius abnormally tight like he currently was. “If that really was a centaur you saw,” he whispered anxiously, “we should go.”

But James just brushed off the concern, like usual. “What’s the big deal? It was only one. And we’re under the Cloak. It’s not like he can see us.”

“I hope it wasn’t one of those spiders Slughorn was telling us about,” Sirius added, casually.

Remus shivered. “Sp-spiders?”

“Yes,” Sirius nodded gravely. “As big as houses, and they’ve got these fangs that are supposedly dripping with poison. A bite from one of those and you can bet your wand the rest of your days will be spent in a bed at St. Mungo’s. If you make it that far,” he grinned lopsidedly.

Remus gulped, tilting his hips from one side to the other and nudging into Sirius enough that his eyes kept darting from the place James had pointed to, to watch. James rolled his eyes at Sirius’ comment. “It wasn’t a spider, you prat.”

“I’m not a prat. You’re a git!” Sirius giggled, shoving lightly at James’ shoulder, momentarily distracted from Remus.

“No, you are!” James shoved him back, also giggling.

“Nice comeback,” Sirius rolled his eyes lightheartedly. “And how do you know it wasn’t a spider? It might have been.” Not that Sirius actually  _wanted_  it to be, or anything. He was just joking around. This was the most action they’d had since entering the Forest, ever, after all.

Pushing his glasses up his nose, James smiled mischievously, “Well, it might have been a quick glance, but I think I would have noticed eight giant legs crawling by, don’t you?”

“Not with those wonky specs,” Sirius laughed, pushing James’ glasses askew again.

“I just had these inspected, thank you very much,” James said matter-of-factly, adjusting them carefully.

“By who? The same person who convinced you that nargles actually exist?” Sirius smiled fondly.  
  
James gave him a calculating look. “No…” but he seemed to falter slightly.

Sirius grinned. “And by the way, centaurs have what, 6 legs each?” he recalled. “Or okay, four legs and two arms. Almost the same. How could you be sure it wasn’t actually eight?”

“I said I  _think_  it was a centaur!” James countered unwearyingly. “It could have been a –“

“Guys, I really have to go to the bathroom!” Remus interrupted shrilly, finally cracking, and startling everybody in the process as he wiggled around beside Sirius. “Can we stop debating this and just go?  _Please_!” he whimpered, jumping up and down softly with his hands over his crotch.

“You have to go to the bathroom?” James groaned, giving him a wide-eyed look as if he couldn’t believe his ears. Sirius found the reaction a little amusing considering, if it wasn’t Remus ruining their plans with another potty emergency, it was James. But James just kept his exasperated expression as he gasped, “Now?”

“I’ve had to go since we left the castle,” Remus stressed, crossing his legs tightly.

“Hah!” Sirius barked triumphantly. “I knew it.”

Reaching to grip his thighs, Remus scrunched his face at him. “Knew what?”

“I knew  _something_  was up with you, because; aside from all the squirming around you’ve been doing - no, it was not subtle,” he added at Remus’ semi-horrified expression. “- you would never have let us go this deep into the Forest so easily, normally.”

“Ok well, obviously if James is seeing centaurs, then that was a mistake,” Remus decided, standing back up unsteadily. “Can we leave?” he pleaded. “Please? I need to go really bad!”

“Wait, hang on,” James shushed him, his head jerking to the side. “I hear something.”

Sirius strained his ears. Remus just continued to bounce up and down with a pained expression on his face. “What?” Sirius whispered, when all he heard was their own irregular breathing. That, and Remus’ soft groans of misery.

Before James could answer, he shot a finger to his lips instead. “Shh!”

Sirius heard it too. A rustle of leaves. A snapping of twigs. But the wind decided to shift at just that moment, so he couldn’t tell exactly where it had come from. You’d think after this long of being able to transform into a dog, his senses would have picked up a bit.

“I don’t hear anything,” Remus hissed hopelessly after another moment of silence. His hands were cupping down in front of himself still and he started tipping his head back. It pulled at the Cloak though, and Sirius tugged it back so they remained hidden.

“Moony, the Cloak.”

“Can we please go,” Remus begged, squeezing onto Sirius’ arm and apparently ignoring the warning since his head was still angling back in distress. He started hopping up and down, and Sirius wondered if he knew how much more of a wait he was still in for, considering they had to get all the way back to the castle first. “Sirius, I need to go to the bathroom,” he pleaded, his voice sounding a bit strained. “I know I should have gone before we left the school. I didn’t think of it. But I just really have to wee so bad –“

“Calm down, Moony,” Sirius shushed him, taken slightly back by his sudden outburst. Well, not really when he considered Remus was kind of always like this when he needed to pee. A total opposite to the quiet, timid boy he was when his bladder wasn’t stealing his attention, or sanity. “You’re gonna have to hold it anyway,” he reminded him. “It’s a long walk back to the school.”  
  
“And we still have to get to the cave so Peter can get his book,” James whispered, glancing off in the general direction.  

That just caused Remus to tug at his hair and grimace, “I can’t wait that long.” Gazing around uncertainly, he was still digging his fingers into Sirius’ arm. “Do we even know where we are?”

“’Course we do,” James assured him confidently. Raising an eyebrow at Sirius, he smirked, “You obviously haven’t informed him of the many outings to the Forest you’ve done without his knowledge.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes in disbelief. Traitor. He’d have to spend the rest of their walk back devising a plan on how he’d be getting James back for that one. Well, unless he was too busy entertaining himself with Remus’ pee-dancing, that is. Fortunately, Remus seemed too focused on his own predicament to even have heard the confession. He was just chewing his lip and shifting around, too lost in his own world of how he was going to convince them that they needed to leave, now, so he didn’t end up making a mess all over the place. To appease him, Sirius leaned in to hug him; earning a spluttering gasp in return. “We know where we are, love,” he tried to comfort. “Besides,” he winked. “I have a wonderful sense of smell.”

Remus must have caught that Sirius was referring to himself as a dog, because he moaned, “Sometimes I really wish I was an animagus.” Clenching his hands into fists and bouncing up and down at the knees, he explained, “Then I could just go wherever. Like you guys always do.”

“We don’t always,” James said.

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows perplexedly. “We don’t?”

Huffing a laugh, James amended, “Well, I don’t. Actually, I usually can’t either.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Why not?”

“Cause,” James shrugged. “Most of the time, we’re not really in situations where it’s exactly  _normal_  for a stag to just be roaming around.” He grinned a little at Sirius, “Sometimes I think you do it just for the fun of it.”

“It’s true,” Sirius agreed unabashedly. “Did I tell you I’ve started keeping note of which trees I still have to mark around the grounds?”

Remus crossed his legs tightly, swaying on the spot; apparently sorry he even started this conversation in the first place. “Let’s just go back,” he cringed. “We can get Peter’s book some other time.”

“But we already made it this far,” James whined. Sirius was going to have to remember this the next time James was begging them to turn around so  _he_  could go to the toilet.

“I know, but.” Remus twisted his hands together. It was obvious he was very internally tormented at the fact that his bladder, of all things, was the one currently spoiling their plans.

However, unable to resist using that as an opportunity to pester the poor boy, Sirius teased, “Are you really gonna make us leave just cause you need the potty?”

Failing to catch the joke, Remus leaned in to whisper so only Sirius could hear him. “My bladder feels like it’s about to explode, Sirius.  _I’m really not joking!_ ”

Sirius glanced down to where Remus’ hand was hovering over his straining bladder, as the other one clenched and unclenched at his side.

“You should have said something sooner,” Sirius hissed back, patiently. “Like before we got to the Forest.”

“I know,” Remus admitted, stepping on top of his own feet. “I don’t know why I didn’t. I should have. Oooggh, I don’t know how much longer I can hold it. It hurts!” he cringed, crossing his legs and hunching forward slightly. “It really hurts. It’s really full,” he rambled, his eyes screwing shut.

“What are you guys whispering over there,” James asked curiously.

“Oh nothing,” Sirius shrugged. “Just the precise details of Moony’s pee-pee emergency.”

“Sirius!”

“Hey, your words, not mine.”

“I didn’t say it was an  _emergency_ ,” Remus squeaked, apparently trying to instill some semblance of pride. Wobbling on the spot, he attempted to uncross his legs as if to prove his point. But he ended up snapping them together quite quickly.

“Oh,” Sirius played along, nodding nonchalantly. “So you’re  _not_  concerned that your bladder is about to burst, then? Ok, good. Now that’s settled, Prongs, lead the way to the cave.”

“No, I -!” Remus moaned.

“Can you just wait, Moony?” James pouted, giving him a pleading expression. “Pleaseeee. We’re almost there.” Hesitating a fraction of a second, he added, “Kinda.”

Despite the chill in the air, Remus seemed to be wiping invisible sweat from his forehead. His cheeks were adorably pink, and Sirius had to physically restrain himself from attacking him in a huge bear hug, and kissing the life out of him. He’d definitely have to save that for later though. Right now, he might just end up kissing the pee out of him.

“Um, o-ok,” Remus eventually stuttered. Sirius knew he was only agreeing because he didn’t want to deal with any resulting confrontation of being the one to have killed all the fun. But almost as quickly as he’d said it, Remus crossed his legs again and shook his head vigorously. “No. No, I really can’t. I don’t think I can.” Giving them a face mixed with both pain and regret, he frowned, “I’m sorry…”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop drinking so much pumpkin juice at lunch? I could have sworn I did.” Sirius reminded him lightly, pinching his flushed cheek.

Remus forced a weak smile, his hands cupping his crotch.  
   
Sirius felt ready to change routes so they could head back to the castle before Remus ended up peeing himself or something – plus, he didn’t want to see him suffer any more. But just as he opened his mouth to make the suggestion, Peter; still on his shoulder, started squeaking frantically, scrambling along, and digging his claws into Sirius with intent.

“Ow!” Sirius cried out, his voice reverberating around them. “What is it, Wormtail!”

Still squeaking, Peter was now batting Sirius’ face with his tail. The others turned to him in bewildered confusion, but before they could even get so much as a ‘what the bloody hell -?’ out, the sound of crunching leaves suddenly stole their breath. Since none of them had moved, they all glanced at each other in sudden exhilaration. Except Remus, who just looked even more horrified.

Sirius felt a shiver of excitement when next moment he heard, “Wizards,” from a gruff sounding voice that couldn’t have been more than mere feet behind them. A second later, it added, “Students, by the sound of it.”

Throwing caution to the wind, Sirius whirled around and nearly gasped out loud when he saw the pair of centaurs standing not more than twelve feet from their very spot. What do you know, James had been right. For once in his life.

Sirius heard him gasp quietly in awed fascination.

Kicking his foot, Sirius silently reminded him that now was probably not the best time to be nearly shouting his admiration however. Especially when upon closer inspection, Sirius couldn’t help notice that the centaurs didn’t really look all that friendly at all. It looks like he had been paying attention in that class. At least the boys had been smart enough to keep the Cloak on.

Sniffing the air, the meaner looking of the two, reached for an arrow out of his back quiver and set it to his bow. Sirius’ eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “I’m just not sure where,” the centaur said, still sniffing the air, and Sirius wondered if Peter had forgotten to wear deodorant again. “I definitely heard them though. They were somewhere around here.”

Sirius glanced at the surrounding area. There weren’t many trees, or bushes, or anything really that they could have hastily used as cover before the centaurs caught up to them, making it suspiciously possible that they hadn’t run very far, if at all. Sirius doubted the centaurs expected them to be hidden under an Invisibility Cloak, but that didn’t look like it was going to stop them from shooting around their arrows just to make sure.

Nudging James’ shoulder as his mouth sagged open in utter fascination - Sirius swore he could see drool falling down his chin –he jerked his head to try and wordlessly indicate they should probably get a move on. He more or less ignored the way Remus was squirming beside him, gripping his shoulder tight.

Until his nails threatened to pierce his flesh, that is. Peter was already doing a good enough job at that, as it was. Wincing, Sirius pried Remus’ hand away and instead clasped it with his own. He could feel him shaking, and Sirius wasn’t sure if this was because of the centaurs; the fact that they were this close to getting caught - and quite possibly shot to death by golden arrows; or because he still had to pee. Maybe a combination of the three.

Gulping soundlessly, Remus darted his nervous eyes to Sirius. But Sirius only smiled back brightly. He wasn’t worried. Everything would be just fine. It’s not as if this sort of thing happened every day, after all. How could Remus not be as delighted about this as he was!? Then again, in all fairness, Sirius realized that Remus did have a bit more on his mind at the moment.

Leaning over to press a little kiss to his flushed cheeks, a tremor suddenly raked Sirius’ entire body when James accidentally stepped on a twig that snapped like a gunshot in the silence. Both the centaurs’ heads swiveled to right where they were all huddled under the Cloak. Now even Sirius gulped. Sort of. With a frenzied glance at James, he gripped Remus’ clammy hand, and whispered, “Run!”

No one needed telling twice. The Cloak trailing after them; and probably even billowing up by their feet as they scattered, they took off as fast as they could in the opposite direction. Still invisible, the centaurs couldn’t see them, but Sirius had no doubt they could hear their thumping feet smacking the ground as they ran; skidding and tripping over branches, and scuffing against twigs.

Sirius didn’t chance a glance back, but he felt so exhilarated he would have stopped right now and done a happy dance if it wasn’t for the fact that an arrow could shoot right at him any second. It wouldn’t matter if they got caught. Finally, after so many unsuccessful trips to the Forest, their determination had paid off. They’d seen not only one, but two centaurs! Almost got spotted, on top of it. And, as if it could get any better, they had the chance of possibly even getting captured and shot by their bows and arrows! Sirius was beside himself with glee. As if they weren’t already going down as the most hardcore students in Hogwarts  _history_ , just wait until everyone heard about this. They’d be famous. Legends, even.

As Sirius lost himself in visions of glory and prominence, Remus suddenly tugged his hand sharply, stumbling and falling behind. Grasping Sirius’ shoulder in an attempt to slow him down too, he huffed, “Wait, wait…!”

“We can’t stop, Moony,” Sirius panted, still keeping a firm hold on him and not slowing his pace. He shot a glance over his shoulder, and it might have been too dark to tell, but he didn’t see anything chasing after them. “What?”

“I can’t run,” Remus cringed, one hand holding onto his lower stomach, and Sirius was suddenly reminded of his predicament. He’d nearly forgotten about it in all of the previous excitement. “It hurts,” Remus whined, slowing to a walk, and then to a full on stop.

Reflexively, Sirius caught James’ shoulder and yanked him back before he ended up running off without either them, or worse, the Cloak. “Hang on.”

“Oi,” James gasped, stumbling backward clumsily. “What!”

“They’re gone,” Sirius panted, grasping his knees as he struggled to catch his breath. His heart was beating a million times per second, but when he glanced around for another quick look, there were no centaurs, or anything for that matter, to be seen.

Inhaling deeply, Sirius looked at them, blind to Remus bent nearly in half with his fingers digging into his thighs and knees knocking together, as he squealed, “Can you believe what just happened!”

“Actual centaurs!” James whispered animatedly. He looked positively ecstatic.

“Yeah, it’s great,” Remus choked, still bent at the waist. With a low groan of pain, he tried leaning back up, twisting his legs together helplessly. “Guys, I’m not gonna make it.”

Fortunately for Remus, the only thing that could have pulled Sirius out of the daze of reveling in what was certainly the most revolutionary moment of his entire existence - well at least of this past week, anyway - was Remus. Puffing out his chest in a most responsible manner, Sirius forced himself to push his elation at their encounter aside until later, as he declared, “Yes you will, Moony. Come on.” He grabbed his hand and started marching off, causing Remus to grunt loudly and hiss in strain before Sirius realized he might have been pulling too hard. James scampered along beside them, apparently not detracted by Moony’s current misery.

“They were huge!” he went on, his eyes looking glazed over even in the dim light of the Forest. “And they looked so  _mean_.” He sounded absolutely delighted.

“Did you see their bows and arrows?” Sirius added enthusiastically. His moment was up. “They were gold!”

James almost started skipping. “I’m so excited, I’m about to pee  _my_  pants!”

“Ooh, don’t say that, Prongs!” Remus moaned, doubling over again as he continued struggling to keep up.

Sirius noticed and even though he wanted to get Remus to the castle as fast as he could, he slowed down his pace a little so Remus wouldn’t have to work so hard to keep up.

“Yeah James, don’t be so insensitive,” Sirius narrowed stern eyes, jokingly. “Can’t you see the poor lad is suffering?”

“What did I say?” James shrugged in mock-defense. “Remus, if it makes you feel any better,” he relented, “I’ll have to miss the next Quidditch practice if Filch catches us and gives us detention for this.”

“How would that make me feel better!” Remus gasped, squeezing his legs together.

Sirius was curious to know how as well.

James seemed mildly surprised at being called out. “Well,” he contemplated. “I’m not sure actually. Sirius?”

With a sigh, Sirius rubbed Remus’ hand reassuringly. “Ok, Moony. If it makes you feel any better, I wholeheartedly think that James is an idiot.”

“Hey.”

Sirius was pleased to see a weak smile breaking past Remus’ otherwise tense face. “Yeah,” he said. “That does make me feel a little better.” But his features quickly contorted into another uncomfortable grimace as he staggered over a fallen branch.

“I may be an idiot,” James smiled goofily, holding up his finger as he explained the matter. “But if it weren’t for me sharing my Cloak, how would you lot have escaped those centaurs? Huh? Better yet, how would you have even been able to come out here at all?” Without waiting for an answer, he pushed up his glasses and sneered cockily, “That's right, you wouldn't. Who’s the idiot now?”

“Oh, you got us there, James,” Sirius put his hands up in surrender.

“I think I might have preferred that actually,” Remus cringed, walking stiffly with his hands balled into fists at his side. “Not having come out here at all. Then I wouldn’t be in this position.”

“No, you wouldn’t be in this position if you remembered to use the loo before leaving the castle, you ninny.” Sirius contradicted.

“I didn’t think I really had to go,” Remus pouted.

“Next time don’t think,” Sirius suggested. “Just go.”

He grinned as he reached over to poke Remus’ nose. Remus just continued to pout.

It wasn’t much later before Sirius could see light peeking through the trees ahead of them, and he knew they must be almost to the edge of the Forest. That went by quick. Lucky for Remus. Or so he thought.

“How much further?” Remus winced, hunching over as he hobbled along. “Are we almost there? It’s killing me, I have to go so bad. I really have no idea how I’m gonna make it to the castle,” he added, stopping briefly to bounce up and down, his back arching as his cheeks puffed out in strain. Even through his distress, he looked adorable. Sirius couldn’t help himself.

“You will, Remus,” he promised pointing off to the clearing ahead. “It’s not that far.”

But Remus whimpered, “You said it was a twenty minute walk!”

“Fifteen,” Sirius clarified. “If you walk really fast.”

“I can’t walk really fast,” Remus huffed, although he seemed to be pacing around just fine. “I can barely walk at all. Uggghhooo, I have to pee so badly,” he moaned, clasping his eyes shut. “The pressure is horrible.”

Sirius pursed his lips, at a loss of what to say. Well, that was a first, wasn’t it?

“I could carry you?” he offered skeptically.

Remus quivered. “No, that would be even worse.”

They were at the hedge now, and Sirius pulled a face of his own when he saw just how far away they still were from the school. It was a long walk when you  _didn’t_  have a full bladder.

Still trying to figure out how he could help, James suddenly piped up instead.

“Maybe you could ride me.”

Sirius’ eyes practically bugged out of his head. “Excuse me!??” he choked. “Moony will not be riding you, James!” He shook his head in complete befuddlement. This coming from the boy who wouldn’t even let Remus and Sirius  _look_  at each other if he thought it was even remotely  _untoward._

James seemed to realize his poor wording and he laughed out loud, shaking his head. “No. Wait. Ok, that was not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” Remus asked fussily, stopping his pacing to cross his legs with his balled up fists straying back towards his crotch.

“If I transformed,” James explained, “you could ride on my back. You too, Sirius. I can run pretty fast.” He looked at Remus considerately. “Then you wouldn’t have to try and walk.”

Sirius was about to dismiss the idea, before he stopped himself mid-head shake. That could actually work…

“That could actually work,” he admitted. Giving him a onceover, Sirius complimented, “Nice work, James. I’m impressed.”

James didn’t bother to hide the smug smile on his face. “I’m full of brilliant ideas, Padfoot. Don’t try and pretend you didn’t already know that.”

“Full of  _yourself_ , is more like it,” Sirius prodded him with his wand.

“I don’t know…” Remus debated nervously, his thighs squeezing together.

“No, I’m pretty sure he is,” Sirius divulged wholeheartedly, as James batted him away giddily.

“I mean about us riding on his back!” Remus cried, and Sirius snapped to immediate attention. Remus’ voice never got that loud. It was strangely satisfying.

Shrugging, Sirius reminded him, “It’s either that or walk. James is fast, I’ve seen him.”

“I’m just afraid that…” Remus stuttered. But he cut himself off with a harassed shake of his head. Beginning to bounce up and down at the knees, he nodded quickly, “Yes, ok, lets’ do it. I just need to go so bad.”

Sirius turned to James expectantly, and waited. Within seconds, a stag now stood in exactly the spot James had just vanished from. Sirius had never paid that much attention to his size before, but there appeared to be just enough room on his back for two people to squeeze on.

Nodding his head at them gamely, James scuffed at the ground with his hoof. Sirius was still stuck back on him asking Moony to ride him. He really chose to word it like that? But since - judging by how Remus was knocking his knees together relentlessly - that this was a matter of time, Sirius decided to dwell on that later. Lifting a leg over Prongs’ sturdy back, Sirius threw himself up, being careful of the antlers, and reached out for Remus.

Still seeming a bit unsure of the idea, but figuring he didn’t have much choice either, Remus took his hand hesitantly. With a loud wince, he clambered up, not nearly as gracefully as Sirius had. His fingers immediately dug into Sirius’ waist as Remus held onto him tightly. Sirius could feel him squirming his bum around, as he tried desperately to hold on, in every sense of the word. James gave them a second to adjust before he suddenly took off. Along with Remus squeezing into him for dear life, Peter, who Sirius had admittedly almost forgot about in all the commotion, also clung onto his shoulder on which he was still sat, his long tail flailing behind them.

In an instant, they’d shot like a bullet out of the trees, and the muted light of the sunless afternoon still had Sirius blinking to adjust after the dimness of the Forest.

“Ooguh, no I can’t do this!” Remus shrieked, his knees banging into either side of Sirius. “I can’t! Make him stop!”

“You’ll be fine, babe,” Sirius tried to assure him.

“No! Sirius, this isn’t going to work! There’s too much bouncing,” Remus cringed, rocking forward and pressing his crotch into Sirius’ back. “This is like being in a car. But worse!”

“I wouldn’t know,” Sirius shrugged, having never been inside a ‘car’ in his life. His family chose to bring him places using Side-Along Apparition. Either that, or they simply didn’t bring him at all. Personally, he preferred the latter.

“You’re lucky then. I can’t get my legs together, they’re too far apart,” Remus moaned, bucking up into Sirius’ backside in a way that shouldn’t be enticing Sirius as much as it was. At least not considering the current situation. “I just need to cross them or something…”

“I like them spread anyway,” Sirius retorted, turning to raise a suggestive eyebrow. “Easier access.”

He received a weak punch to his shoulder, as Remus gave him an incredulous, and still adorably-strained, face. “I would have smacked you harder if I didn’t need to piss so bad,” he told him gruffly.

With a shrug, Sirius frowned blandly. “I guess I deserved that. And since when do you say 'piss'?”

"Since it's about to go all over the place in about two seconds!" Remus wailed.

Sirius was sure he was overreacting, but he tried to scoot up a few inches just in case.

Remus continued to wiggle and squirm uncomfortably, rocking back and forth against Sirius so much that Sirius was nearly knocked into James’ antlers a few times.

“Careful, Moony,” he winced when his eye was very nearly poked by one of the tips. “Being antler-ed to death is not really my ideal way of going out, you know?”

But Remus either wasn’t listening or just didn’t care (or else was considering it appropriate payback for Sirius’ earlier comment) because he didn’t stop moving around the whole rest of the way down.

“I can’t hold it, Sirius” he cried, leaning his forehead against the back of Sirius’ shoulder. He was shifting nonstop. “I’m gonna end up weeing all over both of you.”

James let out a weird sort of grunt at that, and Sirius patted him reassuringly. He then rested his head against Remus’ and said, “I’m not sure Prongs is really up for that idea, love. And although I’m usually up for anything, I think I might have to pass on it as well.” He craned his neck back so Remus could see the playful grin on his face.

Remus gave him a feeble smile in return, squeezing his knees into either side of James. “It’s not funny,” he mumbled pathetically, his face scrunched but his smile still holding some sort of shape.

“I agree,” nodded Sirius in as somber an expression as he could manage. “Do you remember how long it took me to get those pixie stains off my robes? I don’t think I’m ready for a repeat of that.”

They were drawing nearer to the school now, and Sirius was pleased to see there were no stragglers hanging outside instead of being in their classes like they should be; well, if you didn’t count the four of them anyway. He could be wrong, but something told him there would definitely be quite a bit of explaining to do if they saw Sirius; a rat clinging to his shoulder, and Remus riding up to the castle, not on broomsticks, but on a fully grown stag.  Not that Sirius wouldn’t have graciously accepted the opportunity to enlighten anyone who asked, of course. But there were bigger problems to worry about at the moment.  

Remus was clutching onto him and just as he started choking out in panicked slurs that he wasn’t going to make it, they could see the large oak front doors ahead. The sight seemed to give Remus a newfound confidence, because he changed his tactic to, “There’s the doors! Oh god, I can make it. I can make it! Hurry, James! I have to pee, I have to pee…!” His fingers were digging into Sirius’ sides, but Sirius was still too dazed from everything to even notice.  

Within moments, they were slowing back down, and James stopped at the staircase, waiting for them all to dismount. Remus practically fell to the ground in his haste to get off. He was already scampering to the door before Sirius could even get his foot over. As soon as he was free, James glanced around to make sure they were alone before quickly changing back into his usual self. At the same time, Wormtail scurried to the ground and changed back into Peter. Sirius had seen it happen so often, the novelty of watching one friend’s antlers shrink back into his head, while the other grew nearly five feet in front of him, had almost completely worn off.

Dusting off his shoulders, James said, “You guys are heavy!”

Sirius just snorted before grabbing their hands and chasing off after Remus. Remus had made it up the staircase and was pulling the heavy oak doors with his knees turned together. Sirius couldn’t help but smile at how sweet he looked, all stressed and desperate like that.

Caching up quickly, with Peter bringing up the rear, they hurried inside after him. The closest bathroom was across from the Great Hall, and Sirius turned just in time to see Remus racing down to it. One hand clutching himself, he yanked open the door and rushed in, causing a group of second-years who had been watching, to burst out laughing.

James nearly smacked into him as Sirius stopped short, unable to resist chuckling a few times himself.

“Think he’ll be ok?” James asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“That’s the thing with Moony,” Sirius contemplated thoughtfully, as the three stood in the middle of the hallway staring at the bathroom door. “You can never be too sure.”

 

 


End file.
